Shame... it's what's for dinner.

“I feel like I’m not __________ enough.”

So many ladies in my life are meeting some deep, old shame and self worth stuff right now.

Myself included.

There’s something about winter, maybe, that wants us to slow down and digest. Or perhaps it has more to do with the healing space that many of us are finding ourselves in. After all, feeling well supported and loved- sometimes in ways we’ve never experienced before- can really give the green light to the nervous system to start processing things that have been backlogged. This is super good news, guys. It means that another layer of our armor is falling away, we are healing to deeper levels than before, doors will start to open that were previously closed, collective suffering will ease. It also means that you are probably going to meet some really tough shit.

Some things have come up for me recently during my meditation practice. Trauma things. Things that I’d previously forgotten. Emotions that had truly been wrapped up in a freeze state are now thawing, and it has been a tender ride. Everything seems to wake it up and since I’m managing to stick with it when it arises, that means my body is re-experiencing what feels like a crushing mountain of shame. At least a couple times a week. Who knows what will activate it next!

It’s been awesome.

Brene Brown said that shame cannot survive being spoken aloud and met with empathy, which is why I called my friend from under the blankets earlier this week. (Thank you, Darla.) If you haven’t had the gift of being introduced to the excellence that is Brene Brown yet, do yourself a favor and check her out.

Something truly magical happens when you verbally knowledge something. It’s like giving your system permission to chew, swallow, and metabolize what it’s been choking on. I’m still unclear as to the neuroscience behind it- I’ll dive further down that rabbit hole at a later date, and get back to you. But it works, somehow, and it’s certainly attainable if you can manage to reach out… which isn’t the easiest thing to do.

Feeling unworthy rarely, if ever, has a solid basis in reality, but the pain it causes is very real. The only thing we can really do when these things show up is meet them at the door, invite them in for tea, and be as gentle with ourselves as humanly possible. Whatever is showing up has already had a rough go of it. So change into something comfy, crawl under the blankets, and call someone if you need to. You are not alone.